


I'm right here

by Exclamation_of_Surprise (WiseGirlWinchester)



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Insults, Panic Attacks, midnight rambles, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-07 08:27:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16850605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WiseGirlWinchester/pseuds/Exclamation_of_Surprise
Summary: I'm not sure where this came from but I wrote a half a million years ago and just decided to post it.Jeremy has a squip induced panic attack in the hallway when said squip tries to erase Michael again and Jeremy protests.





	I'm right here

**Author's Note:**

> NOTE! This story does depict a lot of intrusive-thought-type insults, a brief BRIEF mention of contemplating suicide and a panic attack. IF THIS TRIGGERS YOU OR MIGHT TRIGGER YOU PLEASE DON'T READ IT!  
> PLEASE BE CAREFUL CHIRREN I DON'T WANNA LOSE ANY OF YOU

"Jeremy?"

_Michael thank God_

"Michae-" The word stuck in Jeremy's throat as he choked on nothing. The voice of the SQUIP rang in his head and Jeremy clutched his ears as though to block out an external sound that no one else could hear, 

**NONE OF THAT NOW JEREMY, YOU MUST BE WILLING TO MAKE SACRIFICES.**  Jeremy tried to speak but no sound came out. His vocal cords were frozen and no matter how he tried to move them he could not make a sound. 

**Now now Jeremy,**  said the SQUIP, sounding calm and reasonable and everything Jeremy was not right now,  **We've already been over this. You have to move on from him, just for now. You have to get better, gain popularity, move up in the world. Michael is just holding you back and the more you struggle...**  Suddenly, the concerned figure of Michael standing before him began to pixelate and dissolve. Jeremy wanted to scream, to protest, but he was stuck clutching his throat in silence.  **The more you struggle,**  continued the SQUIP,  **the longer it will be before you see him again.**

Jeremy fell to his knees, still holding his throat. He couldn't see Michael, couldn't find him and the gathering tears were starting to spill over. He opened and closed his mouth, gasping like a fish out of water. He was panicking and he could _feel_ people staring and Michael was  _gone_ gone gone gone gone-  **You need me.** Said the SQUIP  **You're nothing but this blubbering, pitiful mess without me. You're disgusting. I'll leave you here until you understand just how little you are on your own.** Jeremy tried to gasp out a plea but the SQUIP was already gone and all at once, Jeremy felt terribly alone.

He curled in on himself. The SQUIP was right. The SQUIP was right he was disgusting. Pitiful, worthless, nothing. Silent tears made tracks down his cheeks. Distantly, he heard what sounded like his name. He heard a crash, a thump near his head, he didn't care. He wouldn't have even cared if the whole building had caved in and crushed him where he knelt. _Maybe he should just die_ -

And then suddenly there were warm hands on his face. One moved to rub soothing little circles in his back, banishing that thought far far away. With  blotchy face and tear blurred vision, Jeremy looked up. No one was there. He wiped at his eyes and the invisible hand still on his face moved to wipe away the tears that were still streaming, but still he saw no one. Then he felt breath on his ear and-

"Jeremy, breath with me." Its Michael its Michael itsMichaelMichaelMichaelMichael 

"M-michael?" His voice was thin, shakey and weak as he felt. He hated it. "Michael I-"

"Shh." Michael admonished, still rubbing Jeremy's back as he pressed Jeremy into his chest. "Its ok just breath Jer, just breath." Jeremy tried to do as Michael told him, tried to breath in time with the gentle numbers Michael counted into his ear, but he couldn't find Michael, couldn't see him.

"Wh-where?" Jeremy swallowed hard, Tom a breath, tried again, "Where are you?" He asked panic beginning to tinge his voice again "Where are you? I can't see you I can't where--Michael?" The hand on his face moved to his head to stroke gently against his hair and run fingers over his scalp. Quietly Michael shushed him again as Jeremy let out a long shakey breath. 

"I'm right here Jeremy its okay.

And I'm not going anywhere."

 


End file.
